Monday 28 December 2015

REVIEW OF 2015

Another year, another obligatory reflection.

Monday 21 December 2015

REVIEW: 'Deus Ex: Revision' (Mod)


If you don't know, Deus Ex is one of my favourite games. It's a 2000 PC classic released at the peak of the Golden Age that combines shooting, roleplaying, and stealth to create an experience never seen before or since. Even it's inferior sequels/prequels/awful mobile games keep trying to scale things back down.

Monday 14 December 2015

REVIEW: 'Emily Is Away'


So all the big releases have finally been...um....released. Now we critics have about a month to catch up with other games whilst we compose our obligatory 'year end' lists.

Monday 7 December 2015

REVIEW: 'Just Cause 3'


Thus, we come to the third installment of the Just Cause franchise. Or, as it's fans like to call it: "KABOOM!!"

Monday 30 November 2015

REVIEW: 'Star Wars: Battlefront'


Oh, how I wish I could play a practical joke on you all and talk about the original Star Wars Battlefront - since EA couldn't be bothered to change the name despite this being nothing like a Battlefront game.

Monday 23 November 2015

REVIEW: 'Floor 13 "Pretty Alpha"'


You'll recall that Floor 13 was my second review on this site. Like many retro games, it's not a masterpiece; but it without a doubt deserves a place in gaming history for what it achieved. And what it achieved was being a fascinatingly disturbing strategy game.

Monday 16 November 2015

REVIEW: 'Fallout 4'


It was a week ago today when the reviewer embargo on this game was lifted. It was also six days go today that this game was available to us proletarians to play. Since then everyone and their head-lice has discussed this game. Alas: I must join them...

Monday 9 November 2015

RE-REVIEW: 'BioShock Infinite' (1999 Mode)


...it's one of those times. I'm not really playing games and there aren't really any interesting games coming out. Well, there's Assasin's Creed - but I still can't believe this series is still going after the romp that was Black Flag. As much as I respect UbiSoft for writing a female protagonist, ultimately I care about gameplay and how well it services the experience. Ever since sailing the high-seas in one of the best pirate simulators I've ever played, every Assasin's Creed game since is a comedown. They might as well just stop and move onto something else.

Monday 2 November 2015

REVIEW: 'Scream Fortress 2015'

If you don't know, 'Scream Fortress' is an annual event that happens within the game Team Fortress 2 - an online team-based FPS. For a few weeks in October/November, the game unlocks a series of new game modes and maps for players to enjoy. The maps from previous years are also available again for a brief time.

Monday 26 October 2015

Top 10 Best Title Themes In Videogames

Many games these days try to skip out on title screens, or keep them away from the game as much as possible. I understand game designer's reasons behind this. Attention spans are shortening and so it's best to get to the game as quickly as possible without worrying about music or fancy graphics. Games such as Dark Souls just have an almost blank void when you boot it up, and Antichamber didn't even have a title screen at all.

Monday 19 October 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'The Stanley Parable'


Max took a look at the recent releases and despaired. There wasn't a single horror title out there, let alone a single interesting looking title. It seemed developers were holding out until November to release their massive Triple A titles like Fallout 4, Battlefront, and Just Cause 3 in time for Christmas. So he decided to look back at The Stanley Parable instead. 

Monday 12 October 2015

REVIEW: 'The Beginner's Guide'


Go and play this game.

I want to leave my review there. It's a cheap, low-spec game available on Steam. It plays on PC, MAC, and Linux systems. It uses a modified yet simple version of the Source Engine. It's about 80 mins long. You can always claim a refund afterwards thanks to Steam's new service.

Monday 5 October 2015

REVIEW: 'Undertale'


In my Psychonauts retrospective, I lamented on the absence of comedy games. Aside from The Stanley Parable, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, and Portal 2 - I cannot name a comedy game made in the past 5 years. There's the LEGO games I suppose, but now they've become an entity unto themselves with the whole Dimensions thing. I would've reviewed it, but I don't have a PS4 or all the money in the world to actually buy Dimensions.

Monday 28 September 2015

REVIEW: 'SOMA'


It's October soon, which means it's time for the annual deluge of horror-related stuff. Whilst here in the UK we tend to quickly skim through Halloween because the last few months of the year must be dedicated to our saviour: Santa Claus, we have the global entiry of Steam to ensure that Halloween thrives across the world within it.

Monday 21 September 2015

REVIEW: 'Close Your Eyes'


It's that time again: the time when a combination of slack release schedules and a busy week means I have to quickly review a free indie game over the weekend just to keep things going.

Monday 14 September 2015

REVIEW: 'Civilization V: The Complete Edition'


I'm all for the whole 'Death of the Author' thing, which is why I refuse to call this 'Sid Meier's Civilization V'. Already I have to spell 'civilisation' the wrong way; stop making me bend over for you Mr Meier! I know you made Pirates! and this series, but you also made Beyond Earth, which sucked. I'll be the judge of whether you're a holy gaming messiah or not. That is my job, after all...

Monday 7 September 2015

REVIEW: 'Mad Max'


This always happens. There's a long awaited, long hyped game released that I don't really care about - so instead I check out the quiet, more interesting release. This time it's Metal Gear Solid V that I have no interest in reviewing, so instead I'm going for the lesser hyped and seemingly more interesting game: Mad Max. 

Monday 31 August 2015

REVIEW: 'Call Of Duty: Black Ops III BETA'


I'm about to do something I'd promised I would never do: I'm going to review a Call Of Duty game. Yes, the summer drought has gotten so bad that when Activision suddenly announced that the beta of Blacks Ops III is now free on Steam I had no choice but to wait the four sodding hours it took to download (which is longer than the average Call Of Duty story mode) and bash out this review in the space of a few hours. You're welcome.

Monday 24 August 2015

REVIEW: 'Volume'


Is it fair to review a game I admittedly haven't played all the way through? Well, I suppose I can explain precisely why I didn't play this for long.

Monday 17 August 2015

REVIEW: 'Team Fortress 2'


Why am I reviewing one of the most popular free to play games ever made? The biggest online shooter out there? Because, after spending a whole day getting it ready, my computer decided to celebrate the arrival of Windows 10 by getting drunk and corrupting it's liver (system file). The only to solve this is to have a liver transplant (reset my PC to factory settings and install Windows 10 all over again) whilst also coping with amnesia (my computer losing all it's data in the process).

Monday 10 August 2015

RE-REVIEW: 'Mount and Blade: Warband'


Why assasinate a corpse? Why garnish chicken cordon-bleu with more chicken cordon-bleu? Why review a game I've already reviewed? Because, like Skyrim, I've sunk an embarrasingly long amount of time into this game and I need an excuse for doing so.

Friday 7 August 2015

ARTICLE: 'Gaming Is Now For The Elite'


Perhaps because of the recent election results, I've been extremely bitter towards the 1% of society who inexplicably own the entire world. This includes the arts sector, and just when I thought gaming was becoming socially accepted despite already being the highest earning entertainment industry, the average age of politicians has soared - meaning we can expect another five years of besuited gentlemen thinking that you steer a controller like a wheel and Zelda is the name of the hero.

Monday 3 August 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'Half Life 2: Episode 1' AND 'Half Life 2: Episode 2'


Fans were disappointed when Half Life 2 ended on yet another cliffhanger, but subsequently delighted in 2005 when Valve released the confusingly named Half Life 2: Episode 1. It's basically 'Half Life 3' but split into episodic instalments so Valve could deliver games faster and respond to audience feedback as they went on. The whole thing seems laughable now.

Monday 27 July 2015

REVIEW: 'Five Nights At Freddy's 4'


I should be annoyed at FNAF's sole developer Scott Cawthon for rushing this game out early, but at the same time I'm grateful because this is that time of the year when nothing else is coming out even though surely summer is the opportune time for games to be released because everyone's on holiday?

Monday 20 July 2015

REVIEW: 'Psychonauts'


Let's go back to a golden time when Double Fine were untainted by the mediocrity of Brütal Legend, the disappointment of Broken Age, the sloppiness of Grim Fandango: Remastered, and whatever Costume Quest is. Let's also go back to a time when fully-blown comedy games were still allowed to be made by a major company and released on consoles.

Monday 13 July 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'Half Life 2'


The myth. The legend. The game that perfected an already innovative formula to create an experience unlike anything before or since. Or, that's what I said when I first played it. So what about now?

Monday 6 July 2015

REVIEW: 'Wolfenstein: The New Order'


When you think of Wolfenstein, you think of a shooter set in Germany where you play as an American shooting his way through cartoonishly goofy waves of Nazis like an unusually violent 1940's propaganda.

Oh, I've just described Wolfenstein: The New Order as well. But it's actually more complicated then that.

Sunday 28 June 2015

REVIEW: 'Her Story'


Why no Arkham Knight? Because I don't care.

I still haven't played Arkham Asylum. It's one of those games I keep playing before taking a break and coming back to it only to restart the game again because I've forgotten the controls. I'm just not getting into it, probably because the combat consists of just mashing one button until everyone is unconcious, the stealth is overly simplified, and the story makes me yawn. Maybe it'll turn out Arkham Knight is the next Les Miserables but even if I actually wanted to drop £40 for a game I didn't care about, I can't because it's been taken off Steam. The PC port is that terrible.

Monday 22 June 2015

REVIEW: 'Skyrim'


You probably haven't heard of this game. It's a little known indie game that was quietly released back in 2011 and which I've only just discovered and begun playing. I have absolutely no idea why anyone hasn't discussed this game before, and after sinking more time than it would take to write the first draft of a novel into this - I thought it was finally time to talk about it.

Monday 15 June 2015

REVIEW: 'Kholat'


I suspect that in a few hundred years time, we're going to experience some major event that results in society needing to be completely rebuilt. When that happens, historians are going to mistake fiction for historical texts. They'll think aliens built the pyramids, Robin Hood actually existed, and we once fought off the galactic empire.

Monday 8 June 2015

REVIEW: 'Kung Fury: Street Rage'


It's got to the point now where I don't think 2D, low-pixel games ever went away. They reached their heyday in the early-90's, and returned in the late-2000s to haunt us once more with limited continues, awkward keyboard controls, and insane difficulty.

Monday 1 June 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'BioShock Infinite'


I've discussed System Shock 2, BioShock, and BioShock 2. I might as well do a retrospect of BioShock Infinite...even though it was only released two years ago. But this makes sense considering current-gen gaming has yet to offer anything this interesting or 'out there' or just good.

Monday 25 May 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'BioShock 2'


Along with Citizen Kane, BioShock was top on my list of stories that would only be undermined with a sequel. It would be a third arm sown on. A third arm that couldn't actually move and therefore adds nothing other than complete revulsion.

Monday 18 May 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'BioShock'


Bioshock is a game about a faceless, nameless, voiceless protagonist who journeys somewhere beyond the sea. Specifically: Rapture, a city underwater. It quickly turns out that things have gone horribly wrong here, as the city has been ruined by people injecting themselves with magical powers - causing them to go insane (you, however, remain fine)

Monday 11 May 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'Half Life: Opposing Force' AND 'Half Life: Blue Shift'


As we previously established, Half Life was a genre-defining game. Not quite a masterpiece, but one that needs to be remembered for what it achieved and what modern gaming still needs to catch up on. Despite the game ending on an open note, many were pleasantly surprised that Half Life became a franchise. And it started with two expansion packs. 

Sunday 3 May 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'Star Wars Battlefront II'


Happy May 4th! If you don’t know why you should celebrate May 4th then congratulations on living an active and fulfilling life. Also, the thing I’m talking about is probably a clue…

Sunday 26 April 2015

REVIEW: 'Spec Ops: The Line'


So I'm a bit late to the party. The hype for this game has been and gone - but I honestly prefer it that way since it allows me to look upon a work with a more open perspective. I'm not playing the game because I've been told it's incredible, I'm playing it because people told me it's incredible two years ago but have since jumped onto the next hype-train.

Friday 24 April 2015

ARTICLE: Why 'Pay-to-Mod' is a Disaster


If you don't know, Valve recently - with little fanfare - added a paywall to the Steam Workshop, meaning there are certain mods you now have to pay for to use. Whilst it currently only applies to Skyrim, a game I've only recently started playing because I live under a rock on Mars, fans are already signing petitions asking for this feature to be removed.

Monday 20 April 2015

REVIEW: 'Westerado: Double Barreled'


Lets face it: the Wild West is awesome. Alongside Feudal Japan, it's a setting that's just so effortlessly cool whether it's given the highbrow or the lowbrow touch. You simply cannot lose. Take any famously bad story, relocate it to the deep south circa 1880-1910 and it automatically has one redeemable trait.

Monday 13 April 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'Half Life' AND 'Half Life: Source'


The FPS genre has many benchmarks. There were many early first-person experiments, then there was Doom, then there was Duke Nukem, then there was Quake...and then, on the seventh day, there was Half Life.

Sunday 5 April 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'Mirror's Edge'



 

With a remake in the works (because society has such a short memory that seven years is long enough to warrant a total reboot) I feel the time is ripe to discuss this fascinating failure. Yes: failure. 

Monday 30 March 2015

REVIEW: 'The Ship'


I love being a PC gamer. I have a machine that’s able to play games from both the past and present – unlike consoles which systematically try to erase its history so they can poorly recycle ideas from ten years go. For example: the Assassin’s Creed Multiplayer, whilst solid, is basically The Ship but without the cartoonish charm. 

Monday 23 March 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'System Shock 2'


Once again, the PC Gamer smugness strikes again. The kids these days rave about how Bioshock is a deep, absorbing narrative experience unlike any other. Which confuses me because System Shock 2 is the exact same game only deeper, more absorbing and in space. 

Monday 16 March 2015

REVIEW: 'Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number'


At last! With all the controversy Hotline Miami 2's demo created, and with the game being pseudo-banned in Australia, you'd think this would be a retro-review by now. I actually had to go back and discuss the first instalment just so I didn't drop dead from boredom waiting for its sequel. Yet here it is: my most anticipated game of 2015. No pressure guys....

Monday 9 March 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'Deus Ex'




You might recognise this game. Similar to how every moviegoer has probably heard of The Seventh Seal, yet never seen it – every gamer has probably spied Deus Ex on a list of ‘Greatest Games Of All Time’ yet has either never played it or has attempted to play it before giving up forever. And I weep for those people. 

Monday 2 March 2015

REVIEW: 'Gone Home'




Gone Home was released two years ago, and garnered a surprisingly large buzz around it thanks to its nostalgia for the utter horror that was the 90’s and its surprisingly touching love story. It also drew a sizeable backlash thanks to its gameplay and its surprisingly touching love story. I picked the game up a few months ago, and whilst waiting for Hotline Miami 2 to finally come out – now seems a good time to dive into a very different indie darling. 

Monday 23 February 2015

REVIEW: ‘Mount And Blade: Warband’


This will no doubt make me lose a lot of credibility as a reviewer and gamer in general…but I don’t really like sandbox games. 

Monday 16 February 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'Thief Gold' AND 'Thief 2: The Metal Age'

  

The Golden Age Of PC Gaming is thus named because it was a time when genres were both defined and created. First-person shooters had been around for a while, but it soon occurred that there could be more to these Doom-clones than just shooting armies of bad guys. For example: What if you take the two basic instincts of a gamer – killing and looting – but get rid of the killing part and make it all about the looting? 

Monday 9 February 2015

REVIEW: 'SuperHOT' (Trial)


Once again, whilst waiting for the sequel to an indie game I really like, I’ve decided to discuss the original so we all get a bit of context. Except SuperHOT is different to Hotline Miami because it’s barely long enough to qualify as a game, and rather than a sequel we’re actually awaiting a version that has an actual plot. 

Monday 2 February 2015

RETROSPECTIVE: 'The Secret Of Monkey Island' AND 'Monkey Island 2' (Special Editions)




With the headache that was Grim Fandango:Remastered still not quite gone, I thought that I would look at another LucasArts adventure game that’s been remastered . Well, that and the sequel – because when am I going to get the chance to talk about Monkey Island again? 

Wednesday 28 January 2015

ARTICLE: Why I Won't Review 'Grim Fandango' / Why GOG.com Is The Messiah


Remember when I said I was going to review Grim Fandango: Remastered this week, in a simultaneous attempt to keep up with current releases whilst ticking off another entry in my ‘games I should probably play before I die’ list? Yeah, things have changed…

Monday 26 January 2015

REVIEW: 'Unturned'




Unturned is an early-access survival zombie game.

Need I go on? The phrase ‘early access survival zombie game’ is enough to make any lover of variety and innovation vomit pixel-art. Even trimmed to ‘survival zombie game,’ people are going to flip tables.