REVIEW: 'Uncharted 4'

So, the past two weeks have been leading all to this. Uncharted 4, the (for now) final game in Naughty Dog's most successful franchise. A game I've been both dreading and anticipating in equal measure. This is the big game that Sony have been promising justifies the purchase of a PS4 - a console which has really disappointed me. Since the XBONE and the WiiU are more or less dead already, Sony more or less has no competition. They've since used this rare privilege to be complete assholes to consumers, and I've feared Uncharted 4 would be Sony's unholy top hat.

REVIEW: 'Uncharted 2: Among Thieves' AND 'Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception'

I've decided to lump my reviews of the last two games of The Uncharted Trilogy (tomorrow it will officially be The Uncharted Quadrilogy) because 1. I'm out of time and 2. The gameplay is relatively unchanged. The first game deserved it's own review just because of how it influenced Triple A gaming, yet whilst there is a marked difference between Uncharted 1 and 2; it's only in terms of plotting and pace.

REVIEW: 'Uncharted 1: Drake's Fortune'

Uncharted 4 is coming up, and I'm both looking forward to it whilst kinda dreading it. On one hand; games these days are so focused on either sandboxes or multiplayer that it's rare to see a linear story that doesn't require an internet connection. Naughty Dog are one of the few Triple A developers who actually seem committed to furthering narrative art (see: The Last Of Us) rather than merely trying to turn a profit in an increasingly volatile industry. On the other hand: aside from Resident Evil 4 I can't think of a fourth instalment in any franchise that wasn't terrible. Plus the Uncharted series does have some serious inherent problems which I'll get into.

RETROSPECTIVE: 'Runescape'

Every once in a while, my brain suddenly reminds me that Runescape still exists. This usually happens every three years or so, and whenever I do I log in, play for an hour or so to see what's changed and what's still the same, then I sign off and forget about the whole thing for another couple of years.

REVIEW: 'A Blind Legend'

I was agonising over what game to review this week for two reasons: 1. The only new thing out is Dark Souls 3 which is not the sort of game you can power through over a weekend (I still need to play the first game) and 2. I've had a recurring headache all week, so the last thing I want to do is play a game.

REVIEW: 'F.E.A.R'

First Person Shooters and Horror do not mix. This is perhaps a curious statement considering three of my favourite games are Horror FPS's - or at least FPS's with horror elements. System Shock 2, Half Life 2, and the Thief series. Part of the reason why the latter two work is that they aren't actual horror games. Out of no-where they suddenly spring levels from hell, where you find yourself stuck in an abandoned town infested with zombies or in a haunted catacomb.

REVIEW: 'Final Fantasy XV - Platinum Demo'

A combination of being ill and nothing coming out this week means I'm having to review a free demo, available now on the PS4 and XBONE. It was either this, or a review of Max: The Game. It's a horrible game where you have to play as a detestable freak called Max who's been struck by an unexpected, non-terminal, yet incredibly annoying illness. He can only think straight if he's either lying down or high on a cocktail of drugs that should probably kill him, and if he doesn't drink water constantly then his throat seizes up so he can barely talk. If he stands up without taking drugs then he breaks into a hot sweat and promptly collapses.

REVIEW: 'No More Heroes'

2007 was such a landmark year for gaming. Not necessarily the best, but it was a year when gaming really felt like it had broken through as the brand new art-form of the now. A new console generation had kicked off, and it kicked off with some great games. In particular: it was the year of the Wii.

REVIEW: 'Shadow Of Mordor'

Despite being completely mad about fantasy as a child...I never really got into Lord Of The Rings. It's filled with empty characters and Tolkien was such a raging Bible-basher. A man obsessed with a binary good vs evil conflict, with absolutely no attachment to the endeavour of man. I know some people complain about how the movies made Gimli into a drunken idiot, Legolas's fighting ability is ridiculous, and every scene with Frodo and Sam made me scream: "KISS HIM YOU FOOL!!" But at least it gave these characters traits. At least it gave these people something.

This Is Not A Review

I don't have a review for you. Sorry. I just haven't had the time or energy to play anything this week. No new releases are out except for Far Cry: Primal, which I refuse to play because it's not 'new.' The Far Cry series has become just like Assassin's Creed, which in turn has become like Call Of Duty...which in turn has become like FIFA. One new game released every year, each game introduces some new gimmick, but fundamentally it's exactly the same experience. Same cake, different icing. I was done with Assassin's Creed a long time ago. Now I'm done with Far Cry. Nice job Ubisoft.

REVIEW: 'SuperHOT'

Remember when I reviewed a prototype version of SuperHOT, an FPS where TIME ONLY MOVES WHEN YOU DO? I said it had the potential to be the next best thing, and presented a unique mechanic that just needed some firm context and a bit more content then we could've had a really great game on our hands.

REVIEW: 'Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare'

I've said some nasty things about Call Of Duty in the past. In my review of the Black Ops 3 Beta, I called the franchise "brain-corrupting filth" only redeemed by a mindless multi-player mode that's since become surpassed by every other multi-player game ever made. I've described this series as the lowest standard in gaming, and propagandistic filth.

REVIEW: 'Firewatch'

I loved reviewing XCOM 2 last week. I've reviewed nothing but either independent or pseudo-independent games throughout the whole of 2016, and you have no idea how satisfying it was returning to a game that had actual gameplay - where you were faced with a scenario and the scenario was completely altered by your choices. It was an organic experience, not a 'walk over here'-em-up.

REVIEW: 'XCOM 2'

It's so rare to see a genuine turn based strategy game these days, where you actually need to use tactics to conquer your foes instead of reflexes. All other games still have you battle in real-time whilst having to battle with a massive interface. Even Undertale's combat was just a mini-game that got old very quickly rather than a head-to-head battle of minds. I've said this before, but turn-based games should ideally be like Chess...except with explosions.

REVIEW: 'The Witness'

One of my first reviews was Antichamber. It was an immersive, first person game that for some reason was fascinated by line-puzzles even whilst it was breaking the conventions of gaming. A perfect metaphor would be if people used advanced sonar technology to play Pong- OHWAIT.

REVIEW: 'That Dragon: Cancer'

With the deaths of David Bowie, Alan Rickman, several of my friends, my relatives, friends of relatives, relatives of friends, friends of friends, I don't think it's controversial to say that cancer sucks. Well, perhaps a more stronger word would be in order to describe the destruction of cancer. In fact, I think a better name for this game would be 'That Dick: Cancer.'

REVIEW: 'FNaF World'

....I have no idea where to start with this one.

REVIEW: 'Journey'

To long-time console gamers, independent games are a rarity. Whilst 'Triple A' used to denote quality, now it simply means: 'available on consoles.' This means that when a game comes along that doesn't have an army of people behind it and doesn't have enough money to send every African to university thrown at it then it's naturally praised. Meanwhile, PC gamers are more weary of independent gaming; particularly in this dark age of Early Access. We're also in general more spoilt by such a vast library of games available to us, whilst console games these days are expected to conform to a specific formula. Steam also offers a platform where both Just Cause 3 and Undertale can sit side-by-side as equals.

REVIEW: 'The Last Of Us - Left Behind'

Last week I reviewed The Last Of Us, and I still stand by my criticism. I think the gameplay itself is messy, and the plot doesn't acknowledge the monsters we're playing as. In fact, I'm annoyed that no-one's really debating me; since I by no means think that people who love the game are wrong. You can easily argue that we're supposed to feel this distance from the characters and look at the whole thing objectively. Also, if the gameplay adopted a more immersive, free approach a-la Half Life 2 then we probably wouldn't have got such excellent character development. Convince me, someone! I want to like this game!

REVIEW: 'The Last Of Us' (Remastered)

Remember 2013? It was that awkward time when the 7th Generation was dying yet a handful of games were trying to make this last gasp count. There was BioShock Infinite, The Stanley Parable, Grand Theft Auto V, Papers Please, Saints Row 4, Assassins Creed 4, Tomb Raider - I don't even like all of these games; but at least they were interesting!